Wandering notebook around the world

Wandering notebook around the world

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What you need to know about me

So, here’s a few things about me. I follow my heart, always. And I do crazy things from time to time, maybe more often than I want to admit. I feel at home in the wild and I love journaling.

The last few years have been a long journey, full of hopes and fears and achievements. I wouldn’t be the person I am without the people I met and the places I’ve been to.

This is my personal thanks for this beautiful life, I hope you will enjoy it. But most of all, please, have fun reading my embarrassing moments 🙂

Trieste, Italy, 2015

 

The backpack is ready to go, adventure is calling!

Because he had no place he could stay in without getting tired of it and because there was nowhere to go but everywhere, keep rolling under the stars…”  Jack Kerouac

a portrait of the writer Jack Kerouac
Jack Kerouac
Writer

Today I was talking to a friend and I was so excited about it but at a certain point she just stopped me and asked “So, just to be sure I understood you. You want to take a backpack and book a ticket to a random place just for fun, without having a job and without knowing anybody there?”

That was it. When someone else says that out loud it sounds terrifying. And it is

I’ve wanted to start this trip for so long. In high school, during classes, I could imagine myself climbing mountains and surfing and enjoy coconut at the beach. And now that I have the backpack in front of me, I’m paralyzed. It doesn’t make any sense.

I can’t stop thinking I’m taking a step that’s too big for me.

What if I’m wrong? What if what I’m looking is not out there and this is just a mistake? Maybe I should try to get into a good university like my classmates, I should listen to them. I should do what they do, have a normal life, find a normal job and whatever.

This is just too much. It’s stupid, useless and non-sense.

Who am I?

Alice blogger

I’m not one of those crazy adventurers you see on the TV. I’m not Sepulveda or Hesse, I’m not a man, I can’t go around like if I was one. There is just a limit and I’m passing it.

I mean, I know, when I was 16 I went as an exchange student to Costa Rica and I lived there one year, and I thought I was the coolest person on earth for doing that. But now I won’t have a host family or any friend with me. If I’ll have a breakdown or a bad day, no one will be there for me. 

“On the road”. Thanks Kerouac, in your book you forgot to mention loneliness. And troubles, because this is what I’m getting into.

I’m Afraid

I’m so afraid, but I also want this so badly. It’s not about showing the others that I’m brave and different, because I’m not. I’m just an ordinary girl with dreams that are bigger than her. And my head is always on the cloud and I’m always getting lost because I love wandering around. How am I supposed to survive a round the world trip without dying??

How am I supposed to fit all my life into a backpack? It looks so small…

How can I say goodbye to my family and friends when I don’t even know when I’ll come back?

It’s not fair. Nobody say it’s this hard. In the movies or in the travel blogs they all look so adventurous and courageous, they don’t have any fears, and here I am. Panicking for every little thing. And my trip has not even started.

Erasmus Traveller exploring the world

But I want to do it. I took a decision and even if I’m really afraid of it, I will do it.

My mum gave me a big help. She’s the perfect organizer and I’m totally not. She’s also scared, maybe she also thinks that I’m doing something crazy, but to me she shows only complete support.

Hugging her for the last time was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. 

So, what’s the plan?

With who?

Alone, completely by myself. I want to push myself to my limit and I want to get in touch with my soul. I want to be like a river, that flows down a hill, and when it founds a rock, it simply moves and changes direction. I want to meet new people from all over the world.

Why am I doing it?

Because I feel the need. It’s some ancient weird need inside my heart, a little and constant voice that whispers “go… go…”.

I want to be like a kid and open my eyes in front of the wonders of the world, I want to hear the traditions of the local people and try unknown foods. I want to live my life, not barely survive to it.

I want to be happy, kind and free, all the rest doesn’t matter. Yes, I’m just a girl and I’m just 19, but younger people have done way bigger things, so why not?

I want to be surprised every day. And when I’ll go back home, because one day I will, I want to be different. I don’t want to be just a tourist, I want to grow up and come back as an adventurer myself.

Alice Blogger Travel

Where will I go?

First flight is to a place that I feel like home, because my ancestors were from there. Malta. You’ll hear from me soon.

So, here I am. Backpack done. Last tears dried. Biggest hugs of my life.

I’m going, the road is calling!


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